I'm not a conspiracy theorist and I don't believe that election technology was hacked and I do believe that Jill Stein is an unkosher crackpot, but God bless her for annoying the hell out of Donald Trump with her whispers of conspiracy and election-technology hacking. All hail Ms. Stein for unnerving this pissant of a president-elect with her calls for recounts in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.
The Clinton campaign has now joined Stein's efforts. "Now that a recount is underway, we believe we have an obligation to the more than 64 million Americans who cast ballots for Hillary Clinton to participate in ongoing proceedings to ensure that an accurate vote count will be reported," announced the campaign's general counsel in an online statement yesterday.
Notwithstanding their almost certain fruitlessness, both efforts are as they should be, since the pissant asked for them. For weeks he refused to say he would accept the election's results, unless he won. A loss, he insisted, would demonstrate a rigged system — and perversely, he was right. In their head-to-head November 8 matchup, Clinton defeated Trump roughly 51 percent to 49 percent; the real winner went down only because of an archaically rigged system.
We can be sure that had the loser actually lost, he'd be demanding recounts and filing lawsuits and whipping his primeval rabble to an obstinate and probably violent frenzy. Thank you, you knuckledragging horror of a slouching demagogue, for showing us how to accept defeat in the Age of Trump: We don't.
Even though we may not genuinely believe in conspiracy theories of electoral corruption and vote-hacking and all that, we are free to sling whatever outrageous accusations strike our fancy, for such is the pathogenic behavior that Trump introduced to American politics with a magnitude never before seen — the malevolent, mendacious little jackass.
Trump's tweet yesterday brimmed with projection: "The Green Party scam to fill up their coffers by asking for impossible recounts is now being joined by the badly defeated & demoralized Dems." One must be heavily saturated with bourbon and branch water to be at all insensitive to the bottomless farce of Trump accusing any others of scamming. As for his charge that Democrats are "defeated and demoralized," he was at least half right. Clinton was undefeated in the vote count, which, in any other civilized democracy, would have settled the election in her favor. But demoralized we are. What responsible citizen wouldn't be, what with a prehensile halfwit about to become commander in chief.
So bless you, Jill Stein, as well as the undefeated Clinton campaign. Bless you for needling Trump by turning Trumpism back on him. I trust this is only the beginning. Throughout the next four years he must be needled, annoyed, heckled, harassed and tormented with every Trumpian maneuver imaginable. For this is the Age of Trump — he defined it, he set the terms, and now he must live with them. Fair is fair.