Back home from the hospital early afternoon, I was leading a chaste life. I would not drink I would not chew and I'd not go with any girls who do. Yes, major surgery had made me the picture of clean living. And then I made my big mistake. I watched that appalling embarrassment of a criminal president at his news conference. I kid you not, the experience was so painful, it was as though my aching guts were reaching up through every fiber of my body, attempting to throttle my already assaulted brain. The prescribed pain killers weren't nearly enough. So into the car I jumped (tenderly) and off to the store I went — for a bottle of wine, a canister of Grizzly Mint and a bushel of lemon creme cookies. To hell with good physical health. My sanity was on the line.