It was the brilliant attorney and early 20th-century American statesman Elihu Root who once suggested the way of proper counsel: “About half the practice of a decent lawyer consists in telling would-be clients that they are damned fools and should stop."
Why “about half”? Because usually only one side of two is right. Spread out over a career, most lawyers wind up being sought out by the wrong half, half the time. But the problem, as Mr. Root knew well, is that lawyers don’t tell these blockheads that they are damned fools. Instead, they strategize every which way - at a minimum, to impress the paying client and feel oh-so clever themselves.
It appears those motivations, especially the latter, encapsulate the career of John G. Roberts, Jr. In reading about his past, there seems to be less there, there, than merely a naked desire to both please whoever signed his paycheck and prove to himself that he was as smart as he knew he was. Principles? This was sport. In fact, it was even more satisfying to dream up a clever representation for a client opposed to the staunchly conservative principles he previously represented. And to volunteer one’s brilliance makes the game even more interesting - a pure, financially untainted intellectual pursuit.
Which brings us to the flap over Roberts’ undisclosed work on Romer v. Evans, the 1996 Supreme Court decision that put an end to Colorado’s legal discrimination against gays and lesbians. According to press reports Roberts “provide[d] invaluable strategic guidance working pro bono to formulate legal theories and coach [plaintiffs’ counsel] in moot court sessions.” Other lawyers involved in the case said that “Judge Roberts … seemed to approach it more as an intellectual challenge.”
That supports conjecture that perhaps Roberts has less upstairs ideologically than either side engaged in his confirmation battle is willing to admit. Consequently this Romer business was earth-shattering news to the right. Representing homeless folks in D.C. and trees at Lake Tahoe - as Roberts had done - is one thing, but this crap about defending godless gays is too much. Jesus, there are limits, you know.
"There's no question this is going to upset people on the right," said Rush to the rabidly antigay, latently homosexual dittoheads. The executive director of the Republican National Coalition for Life intoned that Roberts’ impartiality was "cause for more caution and less optimism." And of course Focus on the Family’s James Dobson weighed in as the 90-intellectual-pound weakling, tsk-tsking that this was "not welcome news to those of us who advocate for traditional values" - like intolerance and snubbing constitutional rights.
To calm all this nervousness the White House unleashed a frenzy of ideological reinforcement. It phoned up influential right-wing fanatics across the country to assure them, in effect, that Roberts really is every bit as conservatively nuts as the left says he is.
Whether Roberts is or not, I have no idea. But the current hubbub indicates how much damage can be done to a Bush nominee by even the hint that he or she possesses an ounce of objective reason or has committed the slightest ideological apostasy.
So rather than vilifying right-wing nominees, perhaps the left should openly embrace them. Find just one crack - one itsy-bitsy crack - in the nominee’s hard shell of reactionary ideology and then wave it around as proof that the boy isn’t the complete crackpot that the White House trusted he was - and marketed him to the base as. Praise him. Hug him. Take out ads hailing his virtues. Declare that no one could be better suited. Have Ralph Neas call James Dobson to request a joint statement of support. Lay it on thick. Ruin Dobson’s day.
Since Bush nominees will be confirmed or recess-appointed anyway, the left might as well have a little fun and frustrate the bejesus out of Focus on the Family, et al. If nothing else, all the brotherly love would positively devastate the right’s hysterical, the-lefties-are-coming-the-lefties-are-coming fund-raising pleas.
As you can see, I’m searching for silver linings.