Ever since House Minority Leader John Boehner grumbled about a "Plan B" and then the Gang of Eleven immoderately stormed the White House to berate the commander guy, it's been public knowledge that Congressional Republicans of varying ideological intensities are looking to skedaddle from Iraq.
But my, my, what a terrible place they're in. For years they've been on the front lines defending George and denouncing cut-and-run pusillanimity, and now they find themselves more eager to vamoose than Democrats. Oh dear. How to undo all the flag waving, all the troop supporting, all those embarrassing defenses of The Decider's determination. Just to turn on a dime and start talking like Democrats won't do.
No, in trying times like these a spectacular scapegoat is needed -- someone or some thing utterly removed from recent party politics yet conceivably capable of taking all the blame. And for my money, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell wins the scapegoat-innovation prize.
"The Iraqi government is a huge disappointment," said Mitch last weekend on CNN's "Late Edition." Not the administration. Not George. Not George's strategery. The Iraqi government.
Say, this has possibilities.
"So far, they've not been able do anything they promised on the political side," Mitch noted, without noting the irony, adding what "growing frustration" he and his fellow Republicans feel about the whole, distant mess. "Republicans overwhelmingly feel disappointed about the Iraqi government."
Maybe you're not disappointed, maybe the Democrats aren't disappointed, but by God the plucky Republicans are disappointed and they're not afraid to say so.
"I don't know what their problem is," he went on.
Yes, who woulda thunk that after 1400 years of slaughtering each other the Sunnis and Shiites would suddenly erupt into civil war? They're an odd, unpredictable little people.
"But this country has made an enormous investment in giving the Iraqis a chance to have a normal government after all of these years of Saddam Hussein and his atrocities," he continued, reaffirming Republican nobility and American normality.
"I think Republicans believe overwhelmingly, is that the decision to get on offense in the war on terror after 9/11 in Afghanistan and Iraq has protected us fully here at home."
A touch more reaffirmation. Never hurts.
"What we are all discovering, however, it's very difficult to set up a functioning government in places like Iraq and Afghanistan."
Again, how sorrowfully unpredictable. If only Mitch and friends had had some previously bungled imperial occupations to learn from, like, say, maybe British or Russian ones. (This clown is like the "I wonder where I could buy a Toyota?" guy.)
"If we give up prematurely, we go home, declare it over, will they be back here on the -- in our own country? And I think the chances of that are overwhelmingly likely."
Back here? I'm sorry, they left ... when? Whatever. The main point is that only Republican courage to stay in Iraq this long has prevented the murderous inevitability to which Democrats have been blind.
But, God bless this strange little people and their disappointing little government: "I want to assure you, if they vote to ask us to leave, we'll be glad to comply with their request," huffed Mitch.
In short, what are wise men to do? It is they -- the tragic disappointments -- who fouled up the perfect plan. And since they are sovereign -- right? -- we have no choice but to honor their wishes. It's not like we're in the habit of bullying our way around the world, you know.
So maybe Republicans couldn't quite nail down their perfect plan, through no fault of their own, but at least Mitch McConnell has found the perfect escape clause. In fact, he's writing it, as we speak.
Listening to this hypocrite and the other 11 hypocrites makes me sick. All they care about is their seats in the 2008 elections. Not once did I hear them say anything about the soldiers and Iraqis who are being slaughtered. I hope the American people wake up from the long coma they've been in these past 7 years.
Posted by: Nina | May 15, 2007 at 01:34 PM
Kentucky is ashamed of our so-called senator. Watch Mitch Twitch as he says he has "no idea what their (the Iraqis) problem is." Shameful.
Check out www.ditchmitchky.com, an amazing website that proves Mitch will be defeated in 2008.
Posted by: Jay | May 15, 2007 at 04:36 PM