Oh dear, it's even worse than we thought

I just watched John Boehner's first press conference as Speaker of the House. And I swear I almost called 911 -- for him.

While at the podium the poor man apparently came down with Tourette's, or perhaps something worse -- maybe the onset of the chronic realization that he was in way, way over his head: he started barking "jobs-killing health care bill" and never seemed to stop. 

Out of work? That's because of Obama's "jobs-killing health care bill." The nation's in debt? That's because of Obama's "jobs-killing health care bill." How do we advance on both fronts? Kill Obama's "jobs-killing health care bill."

One could only assume from Boehner's blithering, chanting, bone-rattling shamanism that American jobs are dropping like moderate-Republican flies because of the bill's miraculous retroactive deficit-generation. Now it's true that the Congressional Budget Office reiterated today that killing the jobs-killing bill would in fact spike the federal deficit, but the Speaker dismissed all that expert accounting jazz by saying the CBO is required by law to work "under constraints." You know, like truth, honesty, or reality.

At any rate, toward the press conference's conclusion poor Mr. Boehner began detectably swaying and rocking and backing away from the podium in self-evident panic, looking as though his one-item mental storage of Frank Luntzisms was beginning to sound a trifle ridiculous, even to himself.

Thus ended one of the truly great debuts of modern times -- a press conference every bit as farcical as the campaign that got him there.

Comments

[Chris]

Who honestly votes for morons like that? it's sad and scary.

[MJ]

The garish face paint, sloppy, slurred speech and constant emotional incontinence have convinced me that Orange Julius is a method actor doing an ironic bit of performance art.

(Think Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka.)