Now this is the kind of high-minded politics operating on distinguished principles and nothing but distinguished principles that we've come to expect in this newer, cleaner, more virtuous age of The Big Debate:
Florida's Allen West, in a furious barrage of television ads, is assailing his Democratic challenger, Patrick Murphy, for once having been "thrown out of a club for fighting, covered in alcohol, and unable to stand. Murphy then confronts and verbally assaults a police officer. Patrick Murphy was arrested and taken to jail"; while Murphy, in a counterbarrage of equally furious ads, says West, while, ahem, serving his country, "was criminally charged with violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice; found guilty of three counts of aggravated assault; and relieved of his command."
For sheer dramatic phrasing--"covered in alcohol, and unable to stand"--I gotta go with West's ad. That's not meant as an endorsement, however, and it certainly doesn't mean that I believe Allen West is even one bit less biochemically batfuck crazy than he so manifestly is.
An honorable profession, politics.