GOP debates: The mysterious saga continues

Politico's Roger Simon joins the fun of sorting out just what the cable networks will do to accommodate the swelling horde of eventual losers:

The CNN folks … have gotten crafty and decided to have two groupings of debates, one for the "smart" candidates and one for the "slow" candidates. That’s my interpretation anyway. The official CNN criteria are just this side of gibberish.

"The first 10 candidates — ranked from highest to lowest in polling order from an average of all qualifying polls released between July 16 and September 10 who satisfy the criteria requirements … will be invited to participate in 'Segment B' of the September 16, 2015 Republican Presidential Primary Debate," says the network. "Candidates who satisfy the criteria and achieve an average of at least 1 percent in three national polls, but are not ranked in the top 10 of polling order will be invited to participate in 'Segment A' of the September 16, 2015 Republican Presidential Primary Debate."

Have you got that? Really? Keep in mind we are dealing with some candidates who think the Earth was created less than 10,000 years ago and that icebergs are being destroyed by too many polar bears trying to crowd on top of them. You think they are going to figure out this formula?

I once had an undergraduate professor who believed that any student who could triumph over the university's ungodly, we-dare-you bureaucratic enrollment process deserved at least 3 credit hours for that act alone. Perhaps any GOP candidate who can comprehend the networks' debate-selection rules should be allowed an additional percentage in his or her polling. They can also be allowed to remove their shoes, for arithmetical assistance, if their points already exceed 10.

 

Comments

[shsavage]

All I can glean from this is that the CNN "A Listers" appear to be the whackadoodles at the bottom of the polling results, while the less-preferred "B Listers" are the candidates with an actual chance of getting the nomination. Go figure. Perhaps a few billion more from David or Sheldon can sort this out for us.

[William Caulfield]

This is going to be fun! The party that has supposedly moved back to the center put on full display. I really only want to watch the A Debate. Madness!

[Bob]

The less the candidates understand the better. There will be much whining and resentment that will probably end up being directed at Jeb or whoever else might fight their way to the big top.

[Peter G]

I thought Bob's suggestion of using the Jeopardy model had great merit. Principally because it could thin the herd in a few rounds. But now I'm thinking Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader might be a fairer alternative.

[Bob]

That could work provided any are smarter than a fifth grader. Maybe pin the tail on the elephant with a balloon drop, light show and live performance by Ted Nugent for the winner?

[shsavage]

Au contraire, Bob, it will work for the GOP because they'll promote the candidates who aren't.

[Peter G]

You have a flair for showmanship Bob.