I have a dream.
I have a dream that on Wednesday, 4 November 2020, President-elect Joe Biden will announce that he's forming an electoral commission to investigate the Republican theft of millions of pro-Biden votes, even though he won the election.
I have a dream that candidate Biden will buy a 5-star Washington, D.C., hotel in 2019, and then reopen it in 2020 for diplomatic bookings.
I have a dream that candidate Biden will collect millions in fraudulent fundraising for vets, and donate a life-size portrait of himself to a Scranton, Pa., Holiday Inn.
I have a dream that President Biden's inauguration ceremony will in fact be attended by at least half the world's population.
I have a dream that President Biden will never again release his tax returns, because, as his reptilian spokeslady will say, "People don't care."
I have a dream that President Biden will order the construction of a lethal, steel-pointed wall separating the White House from the U.S. Constitution — and the producers of "Saturday Night Live" will pay for it.
I have a dream that President Biden will order a travel ban on all citizens from countries with a literacy rate exceeding 10 percent.
I have a dream that President Biden will appoint David Duke and Alex Jones to the U.S. Supreme Court.
I have a dream that President Biden will abolish the EPA, the SEC, the FBI and the ATF, mostly because all these infernal acronyms can be confusing.
I have a dream that President Biden will order that all elementary school students pack 9mm Berettas.
I have a dream that President Biden will direct his most vicious Twitter attacks against terminally ill political opponents.
I have a dream that President Biden will include ISIS leaders in his confidential, Oval Office briefings to Russia diplomats.
I have a dream that President Biden's first national security adviser lasts at least 25 days in office.
I have a dream that President Biden exiles "The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @NBCNews, @ABC, @CBS, @CNN)" as the "enemy of the American People!" that they are.
I have a dream that President Biden goes for the fiscal stupidity gold medal of all time: 100 percent tax cuts and tripled federal spending.
I have a dream that President Biden appoints Paris Hilton as HUD secretary, Bernie Madoff as treasury secretary, Ted Kaczynski as defense secretary, and puts Rep. Jim Jordan in charge of the Special Olympics.
I have a dream that President Biden sets flame to all future congressional subpoenas.
I have a dream that President Biden applies even more pressure on Iran by releasing it from all its obligations to every international accord.
I have a dream that President Biden will kick up our love affair with Kim Jong-un by having actual sex with him.
I have a dream that President Biden will befriend more bone-saw visionaries.
I have a dream that President Biden will in short order leave us with not one honorable ally.
I have a dream that President Biden continues easily winning all our trade wars.
I have a dream that President Biden smartly takes the word of Vladimir Putin over our intelligence community.
I have a dream that President Biden keeps betraying our friends, hugging our enemies, and destroying every last dram of U.S. credibility in the world.
And then, let us pray, I'll finish the dream by awaking to President Biden's truncation of the nightmare we're in.