Tales of Vladimir Putin's death, body doubles and prerecorded appearances

The Daily Star, a British tabloid, has a "WORLD EXCLUSIVE!" that was instantly picked up by virtually every other British tabloid. The Mirror, The Express, The Sun and The Chronicle are also running the Star's story, which is this:

Vladimir Putin may be dead with body double taking his place, MI6 bosses claim

If that shocking revelation fails to sell newspapers, then the Hearsts and Pulitzers of modern journalism should hang it up. Here is a story on a sensationalist par with the LBJ-CIA-Mafia's JFK assassination, Hitler chewing coca leaves in Argentina, George W. Bush blowing up the world's two tallest towers, or Donald J. Trump having been a real U.S. president. All for a few shillings.

But back to today's blockbuster news. "Senior MI6 bosses say the Russian president has been seriously ill and that if he had died, his cronies would hush it up to keep power for as long as possible," reports the Star. One "source" told the tabloid that Putin's "recent media appearances had very probably been pre-recorded."

It's that, or "body doubles" are being used. Or maybe not. The Daily Star and MI6 (or so we're to believe) are merely spitballing here. There is "the possibility that he is already dead. It’s impossible to know," said an intelligence source. Nevertheless, "it is believed" that Putin has used body doubles; "some observers" say he has blood cancer; and "it is widely believed" that he's taking steroids or receiving cancer treatment."

At least one segment of the Star's report is plenty plausible. "The real fear" in Moscow is that once Putin croaks, "there could be [would be] a Kremlin coup" and quite possibly the generals "will want to withdraw from Ukraine." They'll figure that beats getting whacked on the front lines, the fate of roughly a dozen generals so far.

As for the rest of the story, well, it's terrific stuff for selling newspapers.

Comments

[Peter G]

A man can dream can’t he? If Putin should happen to croak, as we all must some day, then it is likely that all of Russia’s security forces will be fully engaged and required there. I call that a happy ending.

[Anne J]

If he was dead, it would be like the old Soviet Union days when the leader would die but the rest of the world wouldn't find out for about a week later.

[Winfield S Jessee]

I have it on good authority (an article on the Internet) that in Russia it is not over until Swann Lake is played on State TV.