The Times' headline reads: "Meet the House Republicans Who Will Wield Power in the New Congress." But that's not quite right, not if by power the TImes means governing power. They'll wield bludgeons, bats and blackjacks, yet their power to actually get things done will be nil. A Democratic Senate and White House, plus a small, Republican subset voting with House Democrats, will decimate the committee chairs' wishful ability to legislate the U.S. back to the Stone Age.
One wonders how much they'll even "bedevil President Biden on a litany of issues," as the Times writes. The chairs and their backbenching committee majorities hoping to make a look-at-me splash back home will be a nuisance to Biden, for sure. Outside of the Republicans' core base, however, Americans will likely yawn at their increasingly tedious poo-throwing in the monkey cage.
Meanwhile the base will gradually become disillusioned with the committees' absolute power to do absolutely nothing, governing-wise. Manifold investigations will produce nada of substance and the Holy Grail of impeachments — that of Mr. Biden — will fall flat, thanks to the few purpled Republicans voting with the near 50-50 House Democrats.
Somewhere along the line, reigning committee chairs and the Republican caucus will have no choice but to keep the federal government operational, notwithstanding opposing demands from the nihilistic Neanderthals in the reddest of congressional districts. As always, there shall be Social Security checks to be mailed, Medicare bills to be paid, a defense department to be funded, and unignorable discretionary spending to be met.
After two or three months, we'll barely even notice the House is in the hands of the nation's finest crackpots, such as Ohio's Jim Jordan, Kentucky's James Comer and Washington's Cathy McMorris Rodgers, whose primary mission as the Energy and Commerce Committee's chairwoman will be the dismissible defamation of Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, (former) chief medical adviser to President Biden and fulltime bogeyman of the right.
Accompanying Ms. Rodgers as an example of womanly degradation will be Rep. Kay Granger of Texas, who said in 2015 that Trump "definitely should not be" president — a rather loose conviction, turned out. She's slated to take the reins of the powerful Appropriations Committee — a bullseye for those in the GOP caucus who wish to burn it all down. But whatever her legislative headwinds, she'll still be in charge of gaveling all government spending, so we can expect an F-35 to soon be in every American garage. For the costly fighter jets are badly made in her district.
As for Rep. Comer, he's been "eagerly awaiting his chance to lead" the Oversight Committee, notes the Times. And one can see why. For starters he'll be the chief combatant in the Hundred Years War against America's #2 foe, Hunter Biden. Better yet, reports the Times, at a recent news conference he and Mr. Jordan "detail[ed] their plans to take the inquiry’s focus beyond the younger Mr. Biden. 'This is an investigation of Joe Biden,'" said Comer. He'll be a busy boy, since he'll also be in charge of investigating "the administration's handling of the southern border, the origins of Covid-19, the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan and whether there was mismanagement of pandemic relief funds, among other things." (Italics, my editorial touch.)
Which brings us to that human extravaganza of investigative excitability, Mr. Jim Jordan, discreet wrestling coach, founding chairman of the House Freedom Caucus, and quite possibly a psychotic. As chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Jordan will sic the raw-meated Justice Department and FBI like an underfed chihuahua. To give you some idea of the substantive findings to come, the Times observes that "his staff recently released a 1,000-page report on the subject, but it was mostly a collection of letters the panel sent."
In cahoots with Comer, Jordan will also lead an investigation into Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. Said incoming Speaker Kevin McCarthy — seriously, I think — the twosome will "determine whether to begin an impeachment inquiry." The articles are likely already written.
The one laudable chairmanship will be that of Mike McCaul, of the Foreign Affairs Committee. McCaul has been a dedicated supporter of military aid to Ukraine, and as such he'll shut down the panel's Trumpian isolationist cries of severed assistance. (McCarthy, who knows better privately, will be glad McCaul is there to offset his silly cancellation of a "blank check.") To balance his Republican credentials, McCaul will investigate the Afghanistan withdrawal, too.
In general, the new committee chairs will make a lot of noise, but go nowhere in terms of changing government. There shall be plentiful saber-rattling and brinkmanship on the debt, to be sure, but not much more than that. In short, the Republican House will be a sideshow. The main attractions will be Trump and Gov. Ron DeSantis.