Health update, for those of you so kindly keeping tabs. I just saw my pulmonologist, and he said it's astounding I'm doing as well as I am, considering. I attribute my good fortune to clean, virtuous living, for which I've always been known; chunky peanut butter and off-brand mayonnaise sandwiches; exactly 10 fig newtons each day; dark chocolate (82-year-old Nancy Pelosi is in agreement here); abstinence from all organized religion — for which God thanks me; and a healthy hatred of all things Trump. And there you have it, the doctrine of The One-Man Church of Phil, recently ordained by my daughter's Jewish cat, Franny.