"To Hell and Back" - the viewing of Trump's press conference

As best as I could recall when I sat down yesterday afternoon to witness his press conference, I had not watched an hour of Donald Trump since 2016. The awful proceeding quickly reminded me why I had avoided such affairs for so long. His Thursday appearance was less excruciatingly long than his rallies — a merciful 65 minutes, not 90 or 120 — but I was begging for "I'll take one more question" well before even an hour was up. 

I watched it only to bring you the highlights — my heroic answering of a call from civic duty that I shall dodge from here on, even though I have no podiatrist's note. Speaking of which, the first highlight was Cadet Donald declaring that his feckless running mate, JD Vance, "is doing a fantastic job." See? You're better informed already.

This report, earned at great pain and sacrifice — am I overplaying it for sympathy? — may seem a trifle scatterbrained, but you must remember the source. That said, onward agnostic soldier! Thus, highlight #2: Trump revealed that "a vast majority of this country supports me," which should probably have been highlight #1.

He further revealed that in 2016 he was "very protective" of Hillary Clinton, despite all those people screaming "Lock her up!" That remark was made as an offset to his repeated hostility toward Kamala Harris in the press conference, particularly in noting how stupid she is. He claimed to have admired Hillary, although later he added that she was "very evil." Coming from Trump, I suppose that could have been a compliment.  

Other than Kamala being "dumb as a rock" — which is typical of anyone who's been attorney general of a large state, a U.S. senator, vice president of the United States and then on to becoming a major party's presidential nominee —  she is "radical left," said Trump on autorepeat. Just as "Damn Yankee" was once known in the South as one word, the word "radical left" flows from GOP mouths about all Democrats just as spontaneously.   

Thus, intoned Trump, vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz is also "radical left" — which is typical of a man who served six terms as a congressman from rural, conservative Minnesota. Indeed Walz is so radical left, Trump continued, he holds positions "not even possible to believe that they exist." Sadly, no far-leftist Walzian examples were offered.

When speaking about President Biden, Trump was downright sorrowful. They "took it way from him," that being the nomination. And so Joe is "very angry" right now. "They said, 'You're out!'" according to Trump, and so he was out. Left unexplained was precisely how an ironclad nomination could be "taken away" from Biden, since his abdication, so to speak, had to be voluntary. See: ironclad.   

At any rate, Trump mused at the press conference that their cruel treatment of Biden "seems to me unconstitutional." What germinated that thought, I have none of my own. Trump did name one person who was among they: Kamala Harris. Yes, she was in on the "coup" all along.

"Shockingly," said Trump, Joe had "appointed" Kamala to the vice president's office. How can he tolerate someone who was so "nasty" toward him? asked the sorrowful one. (Has Donald seen some of the choice words JD once used about him?)

Amid all the pejoratives, insults and defamations, Trump did manage to work in one hugely inaccurate comment on the general state of the nation. "We have a very bad economy right now." It's so bad, he said, we're looking at a "depression," not a recession, although "some people are saying if Trump isn't elected you're going to have a recession." Again he didn't name names, but some people would be two: luckless Larry Kudlow and the inexpressibly always-wrong Stephen Moore. 

My favorite line of the entire press conference arrived in how Trump described the economy's truly wretched condition: "People are dying because they can't have food." Who else talks like that? Perhaps a third-grader? The runner-up: His 6 Jan. government-overthrow crowd was bigger than that at Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. (King's was 25 times larger.) 

Other isolated comments included: Kamala "wants to defund the police" and Kamala "wants to take away everyone's guns" and Kamala "destroyed San Francisco and she destroyed California" and Kamala has "been very bad to Jewish people" and former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown "told me terrible things about" Kamala. (Update: Politico reports this morning that he confused Willie with Jerry Brown, and that Willie told him nothing about Kamala.)

On the legal front, Trump said he "won the documents case" — damnit, I missed that story — but Biden "lost" his, and in 2020 he could not have won Alabama and lost Georgia, that's just impossible because the states are identical; ergo, there was fraud in Georgia.

And on the world front, Trump again spewed some counterfactual history. His histories are invariably counterfactual, since they're the only histories that can't be verified. Russia, he repeated, would not have invaded Ukraine had he been in office. Putin invaded only because Biden is "The WORST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE US," and so he botched our withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Trump would not have botched Afghanistan, he said; he was "ready" to withdraw and he would have done so with "dignity and strength." What he has never explained is why, then, he never withdrew. The reason is pretty obvious. Every military analyst predicted that the U.S.' withdrawal would be a bloody mess. So Trump left it for Biden.   

If you think this post is too long, how do you think I felt watching its subject material? But we're just about there, at the blissful end. In fact I'll close with Trump's observations about his polling, which, as I recall, he led with. He's ahead. That, you never would have guessed. In the face of his increasingly disastrous polling, he said he's had some very good polls lately, and in some he's leading "very big." He cited one, a CNBC poll — yet that, unmentioned, showed a statistically tie. 

(Update 2, from The Wall Street Journal's editorial board this morning: "Trump seems to think he’s still leading in the polls against a feeble incumbent.... The former President doesn’t seem to realize he’s now in a close race that requires discipline and a consistent message to prevail.)

I could have written that he filled nearly all the 65 minutes with his usual grievances and left it at that. And maybe I should have. But I suffered his press conference, and by God I was determined to get something out of it. Besides, I did learn something. Never again will I be tempted to watch an hour of Donald J. Trump.

Comments

[Anne J]

You are a trooper for sitting through all of that, so thank you for your service.

Trump is acting like a jilted lover, obsessing over losing Joe Biden and fantasizing that he will make a big comeback at the Democratic convention coming up and will be Trump's competitor once again.

Meanwhile, JD Vance is stalking Kamala Harris and Tim Walz in all of the states they are holding rallies in right now, even trying to board an empty Air Force 2 to confront her. He's acting like a scary, stalker ex boyfriend and seems proud of it.

And as native and lifetime resident of the large state where Kamala Harris also hails from, she definitely did not ruin California. Prop. 13 and a string of republican governors did that.

[ren]

Thanks for taking one for the team.