From my morning inbox.
TBR Contest: Rename JD Vance!
And win a fabulous grand prize!
Does the name James Donald Bowman ring a bell?
That was the birth name of everyone’s favorite cat-hating, eyeliner-loving politician.
Until he changed it to James David Hamel.
And changed it again to James David “J.D.” Vance.
And changed it yet again (inexplicably removing the periods after the initials) to JD Vance.
That’s right: JD Vance has had four different names.
Until now.
Because today, TBR is launching a contest to rename JD Vance once more—and the most creative entry will win a fabulous grand prize!
Submit your new name for the fascist formerly known as JD Vance in the comments section below and you could win a signed copy of my book PROFILES IN IGNORANCE (an $18.99 value)!
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For the uninitiated, "TBR" stands for "The Borowitz Report." That would be The New Yorker's Andy Borowitz. The contest, regrettably, is restricted to BorowitzReport.com subscribers. I mentioned before that I finally subscribed out of guilt; I was stealing so many of of his gut-punch funnies (which are available from my New Yorker subscription) that I couldn't go on as a freeloader.
Anyway, I submitted an entry, "JD Unltd." I trust its meaning is obvious, but one never knows. I began to look at other entries but that resulted only in sorrow for Andy. There must have been 5,000 of them — and he has to weed through every one of them. It's times like that I'm grateful for having a Ltd. rather than Unltd. readership.
There's no way I'm going to trundle through all the entries and cite the more clever ones here — I'm not lazy, just reasonably sane — but I'll be sure to bring you the winner.
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