When illicitly protesting the monstrous tyranny of a peaceful transfer of power, one trick in evading the law is to blend into the crowd, be inconspicuous, act as though there is nothing suspicious about your presence. This, Jacob Anthony Chansley did on 6 January 2021 in the U.S. Capitol Building.
Nevertheless, the long arm of President Biden's jackbooted Gestapo managed to identify Mr. Chansley as a true Patriot, and that got him shanghaied into a reeducation camp, euphemistically known as a federal correctional institution. Being successfully brainwashed by May 2023, he was released.
But the Big Day came yesterday, 5 August 2024 — a howlingly wonderstruck day for Freedom and Patriots everywhere. For Jacob Chansley succeeded in reacquiring his "horned coyote-tail headdress" and "six-foot pole with an American flag zip-tied to the shaft," as his Kamala Harris-related jailers described his personal items that they so detested, designating, as they did on that magnificent January day, said freedom and patriotism.
This weighty matter of returning his headdress and pole pressed on the otherwise idle American justice system for months. What to do? ... yes, what to do. That was the extraordinary Constitutional question that lay before Judge Royce C. Lamberth, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Now you probably thought the judge, in deciding this issue, went with 606 F.2d 1341, 1347 (D.C. Cir. 1979), which the benighted know only as United States v. Farrell. Or perhaps you thought U.S. v. Brown, 185 F. Supp. 3d 79, 82 (D.D.C. 2016), 2021, was even more persuasive.
But you would be wrong. After countless days of long contemplation, Judge Lamberth quoted from 540 F.2d 1100, 1101 (D.C. Cir. 1976)). U.S. v. Wilson as justification enough for ruling in Chansley's favor. But overall the judge based his decision on a federal case brought against an inanimate object, United States v. Rayburn House Off. Bldg., Room 2113, Washington, D.C. 20515, 497 F.3d 654, 663 (D.C. Cir. 2007), which, as everyone knows, quoted from Fed. R. Crim. P. 41(g).
So, are all true Patriots again free to not only make accomplished jackasses of themselves by wearing buffalo-horned, coyote-tailed headdresses, but get all their shit back when released from prison?
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