Putin Upset to See Someone Else Controlling Trump
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Vladimir Putin was “totally despondent” after witnessing someone other than himself control Donald J. Trump for ninety minutes, a Kremlin source said on Thursday.
“For years, President Putin has taken great pride in his ability to manipulate Trump like a silly, dancing marionette,” the source said. “To see someone else do it, and so effortlessly—well, it was a bitter pill for him to swallow.”
The morning after the extraordinary spectacle, Putin was “still baffled” as to how this person was able to dictate Trump’s behavior with the simplest and most obvious of prompts, the source said.
”It was hard to watch,” Putin reportedly said. “But she was right about me eating him for lunch. That was a good one.”
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