A miscellany of stupidity

Lord. Sweet Jesus. Mary, Mother of God and for Christ's sake, how can a Yale Law grad be so shockingly stupid?

As the vice tinpot sees the matter in a three-step syllogism, a judge illegally conducting a military operation deductively leads to the illegality of a judge controlling the chief tinpot's legitimate power. We must assume that JD's peculiar Aristotelian logic also agrees with this syllogistic chestnut: 1.) Policemen are instruments of the law; 2.) The violin is an instrument; 3.) therefore, policemen are violins. Moreover, JD rigs the concluding line of his judge-executive logic by concluding his own conclusion: the executive's power is legitimate, so go blow.

Care for another of Trumpism's rhetorical manipulations? Here's one that is backed by infinitely more than potent stupidity, it rests on no less than the Word of God. The Department of Housing and Urban Development's Secretary Scott Turner issued a press release announcing that "the agency ... [is restoring] biological truth to the federal government. This means recognizing there are only two sexes: male and female. It means getting government out of the way of what the Lord established from the beginning when he created man in His own image."

But let's do get back to what's really dumb — cartoon-style, for instance.

Right. In fact here's one of Elon Musk's crackerjack eyeballers, bless his heart, deciphering not only the conspiratorial intricacies of said bureaucratic waste, but fraud too.

Yet the very best of fraud-busting inspired by edgy conspiracies and herculean stupidité is, of course, the vice tinpot's supreme generalissimo. Just days ago The Bemedaled One exposed what must be the mother of all peculations. The U.S.A.I.D., he revealed, is merely one of several agencies where "BILLIONS OF DOLLARS HAVE BEEN STOLLEN" — you read that right — and where a "PAYOFF" to the Democrats-promoting "FAKE NEWS MEDIA" took place. This could be “THE BIGGEST SCANDAL OF THEM ALL."

Still, Trump's genius for stupidity is not entirely innate. For him being the best at it originated in large part from standing on the shoulders of a gigantic ignoramus whose own densification is indeed innate.

As you almost certainly know, this week Elon dropped by his Oval Office on a mission that only advanced students of the extraordinarily stupid are able to appreciate. Translated inversely and into numbers, at least 75,017,613 Americans are awe-stricken by what has to be the dumbest thing since George W. lectured the nation on winning a cakewalk war.

With fear and trembling, I quote Mr. Musk: "We have this unelected, unconstitutional branch of government, which is the bureaucracy." Thus substantiated is Forrest Gump's signature line.

Someone please inform Elon that the bureaucracy is the executive branch's respective departments, the earliest of which the founders constitutionally articulated in Article II, Section 2: "The President ... may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments." Mr. Gazillionaire would know this if his nascent intellect had not straightaway been pulverized by heedless avarice.

Elon enjoys uttering another word, already uttered above, whose readily discernible megaton irony escapes him nonetheless. Again I quote: "The public's elected representatives ... decide what happens as opposed to a large, unelected bureaucracy."

Good grief. Elon is an unelected decider. What's more, he's the most powerful unelected decider in all American history. As his fiscal sidekick Donald sits by and fantasizes about Trump Towers in Gaza, Elon announces that the executive branch "need[s] to delete entire agencies."

(He's also a jimdandy botanist: "It's kind of like leaving a weed. If you don’t remove the roots of the weed, then it’s easy for the weed to grow back. But if you remove the roots of the weed — it doesn’t stop weeds from ever growing back, but it makes it harder." Got it. He really should alert his entire-agency-deleting teenagers over at Treasury too.)

And yet, incredibly, there's more, for Elon is more than just an unelected decider. He's an unelected bureaucrat, that most undesirable species of embedded government waste. We're not done. Yes double-incredibly Mr. Musk is a bureaucrat who touts his green-eyeshade operation as an executive-branch department, the name of which you know.

Thricely we're-not-done-yet incredibly, his department — also the most powerful one by virtue of his most powerful position as an unelected bureaucrat — happens to be a department created without congressional sanction — as required by Article II, Section 2, Clause 2 of the U.S. Constitution, about which Elon Musk hasn't a clue and craps on it hourly.

But for the day I'm done, too much Hall of Fame Stupid from autocracy's best and brightest.