The eternal essence of Donald Trump, judicially encapsulated

Not even the loathsome Dick Nixon, a Constitution vandal and smoking-gun criminal, disdained the press to the fanatically unhinged extent of assaulting one of its organs with a defamation lawsuit whose pleadings let loose a veritable flood of his antediluvian virtues in place of specifying the defendant's damages to his wrongfully soiled reputation.

That litigious obscenity he left to the even more loathsome Donald Trump. Having sued The New York Times in 2020 for "isidiously" plotting against him — the claim, dismissed — and having again sued the Times for defamation in 2021 — also dismissed — this year he sued the paper once more, and once more, just yesterday — another dismissal.   

This one, however, was less a mere go-away ruling than a judicial sledgehammering of the severely maladjusted Trump and his logorrheic pettifoggers. The former had instructed the latter to fill his petition with what even the loathsome Constitution vandal and smoking-gun criminal Dick Nixon never ventured in a legal filing: a bench-staggering 79 pages of his mythical virtues in:    

Federal Judge Steven Merryday would have none of it. And Trump will have none of the preposterous $15 billion in damages he demanded from the Times, whose spokesman said "We welcome the judge’s quick ruling" — a brisk four days — "which recognized that the complaint was a political document rather than a serious legal filing."

A Trump mouthpiece confirmed the Times' assessment by saying his chronically whining employer "will continue" — he has 28 days to amend the complaint — "to hold the Fake News accountable through this powerhouse lawsuit." It was indeed powerful — in its stupidity. Trump's filing, as the judge noted, offended just about every requirement contained in the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

As the defendant noted, the suit's prolixity "digressed into lengthy tributes to Mr. Trump, citing his 'singular brilliance' and describing his 2024 election win as 'the greatest personal and political achievement in American history.'" As already noted, its digression stretched for 79 pages. And as the judge further noted, "The reader must endure" the filing's:

"allegations in defense of" Trump’s father, "the acquisition of the Trumps' wealth," a "protracted list of the many" Trump Organization properties, a list of "Trump’s many books," a "long account" of "The Apprentice," an "extensive list of Trump’s "media appearances," a "detailed account of other legal actions both by and against" Trump, an "account of the "Russia Collusion Hoax," alleged "lawfare" against Trump, "and with much more ... abundant, florid, and enervating detail."

And finally, noted Judge Merryday, a legal complaint is no place for Trump's "vituperation and invective," nor is it a "platform to rage against an adversary," a "megaphone for public relations," a "podium for a passionate oration at a political rally,"  nor "the functional equivalent of the Hyde Park Speakers' Corner" — at which Trumplike crackpots also rage with megaphones.

Not until pages 80 and 83 did Trump's "two simple counts of defamation" appear in the legal document, observed the exasperated judge. "The complaint is STRUCK," he wrote, adding with probably excessive high hopes, the "amended complaint must not exceed forty pages."

What really strikes the reader and what really counts: Donald Trump's unrivaled loathsomeness. For not even his closest competitor, Dick Nixon, was so fanatically, repulsively unhinged.

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This piece is cross-posted in Substack.