Update (from a free country)

Canada remains free; its liberties secured by a government elected by competent voters. I remain captive, however, to private enterprise, as I attempt to return (curiously) to the southern Fatherland of electoral nincompoopism.

Air Canada's flight attendant strike ended this morning, yet the airline's corporate powers — who have emailed this stranded passenger not one update in nearly 72 hours — permit no phone communication to rebook, nor is their online process functional.

Both circumstances could change any minute, and boy am I eager to set down in the land of jack-in-the-box authoritarianism, to once again breathe the suffocating stench of America rotting in ruins, of prodigious ignorance empowered, of a citizenry out to fucking lunch. An America drowning in the Founders' tears.

Hence my time is occupied by checking for any immediate options to book a return flight. Seats will be gobbled up fast by thousands of grounded others equally eager to take a deep whiff. Call us the airships of fools.

Should "progress" strike, I'll let you know. For now, Auf Wiedersehen.